You old fool.

I left closing the door, looking not back but nervously fidgetting with my glasses and trembling, almost shaking to the point of break-down. I could've never managed to do so by myself normally, i would've cried small gasps of dismay or fumbling my words and the hand at the door knob not wanting to let go, normally. But so it was that this time something went too far, something broke so hard that no pieces were left behind. So the steps took me farther than what i wanted and the further i went the more the voice in my ears screamed, calling for some sense in this whole mess. I stumbled through neighbours and street-names, far beyond minutes and hours, deep into night, knowing not when to stop and when to return, when to go back running to her arms, to the sight of her blurry eyes blaming me for all that pain. 
But i never went back. 

And never again i said to myself, this is it, you old fool.